Splendora, Texas 77372
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Once, when I was fourteen, I didnít pray with the kids in my class and the teacher sent me to the principal. They really got upset when I told them I didnít believe, and thatís why I didnít pray. They didnít know what to do to me. Thatís when I realized God was silent. He wasnít telling the big people what to do.
Paul said faith was like looking through a dark glass and perhaps that means it is intuitive, that you just canít reason about it. But I think the message is much more complex, You know, "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe." Does that mean we might die here and never know if God exists? We might not even know if our lives mean anything and isnít that good enough? Isnít that the message from the silent God. Isn't that what it means to be like God?
Most talk of God is about what people do, good and bad. I have always objected to the bad, even though Iíve never done anything to stop it. And I have never been against the good, but thereís not much to say about that.
When Pontius Pilot asked Jesus about truth and Jesus didnít answer, was it because Pilot's truth is not something that concerns a God that knows everything.
You donít hear God and you may wonder why. Does that means you have to die with your faith or with your doubts, and in each case, neither truth nor cynicism means anything. Itís thought better to die with faith, but is there a choice? Isnít faith supposed to be a gift? Peter had it, Thomas didnít, right? Wasnít Peter the one with the bad character? Didnít he cut off a slaveís ear and deny that he knew Jesus three times. As I remember the story, Thomas just accepted the proof saying "My Lord and my God." I wonder which way was best?
Maybe thatís why faith is said to be a gift. Maybe going to heaven is something that is now rather than later. In that case, living and dying are the same thing. If there is a heaven to go to, it must be inside of death; not because one wants death, but because it must be overcome rather than ignored.
I donít know what I mean. I remember reading that Carl Jung carried around the parts of a knife that had exploded in his motherís kitchen cabinet as a reminder to himself that there was evident of the supernatural. He even decided to become a psychiatrist because he thought the study of the mind and personalities could be an empirical science. What a gift? I wish I had a gift, too. Why not just see and touch the world and let that be my gift?